..new moon and me...and bella...

well, not so fresh from the movie. i went for it at cathay...yeah like i've somewhere else to go...for new moon. on my way, on radio...i heard so many bad review till i feel like...ah, this must be a waste of time! and money...

i told my boss, she said just proceed so i will know. and, i did...i rest assured all doubts.

ah, how surprisingly that i like the movie nonetheless. it felt like i was bella...the lack of emotion girl...and i think i like it because i read the book...and i can put the situation into the movie.

i shed tears...why? because i think, it was real...when you are sad and all you wanna do is get over with it...and for it...along the way, you'll lose the sense of emotion...at least, i am.

and, firdaus...my guts tell me, i don't feel like talking to the same firdaus i met on 15.10.2009 eventhough i've his photos, his web, his everything...all i've gotta know. but no, i dont feel assured.

hmm...meanwhile, we exchange photos...he always make me commit to giving him one or may be i'm so prevailing...now he has two of my photos...one which taken during bowling and today, taken from office. ok, ok...so, dila knows bout him...shared the photos of him with her...which somehow i feel...that this firdaus...is for dila...and not me.

ah, hell with it...not that i'm in love with this firdaus whatsoever...i take it as a casual fling. like i always have...my reputation had it that i made friends whereever i go, whatever i do...and eventually became good ones. and i must guess, firdaus too...

ok, he made me feel content, happy and look forward for a brand new day...except yesterday that his morning really snapped my sanity and senses...so, i like...hmm...not yet, i'm comfortable with this friendship at least for now.

i like it when he said...'i'll kiss your lips'...it sound so sexy and melt away my made of steel heart! yeah, that's hot! hahaha...and i like when he said...'damn, i want your kisses' and 'i wanna kiss you'. i feel loved...if it's the right word to say...i feel my emptiness slowly to be fulfilled...

and it's all because of firdaus...and last 28.11.09 is my best friend's engagement day...it felt like i'm losing her...and that what actually ignite my bad day, yesterday...