but really, well, except for my neo...my beloved till...i can own m6 obviously. sound selfish eh? well...that's the truth. for now, my neo is my everything.
ok, back to firdaus, how was this happenning? i just can't figure how or when or why or whatever! i just realized then, we are so damn close and loving each other like we really are a love bird! we miss each other, we exchange love word, we 'sulk' with each other, we exchange nice and sweet words. i don't know how long this 'nicest thing could happen to me' will ever last...
each day indeed gimme a new glimpse of fear. fear that one day i've to tell him whom i really am...despite enjoying his company so much and love him so very much...i know one thing for sure, i couldn't be with him. that fact, is just a sooner or later subject matter...and i don't know if i am so open to accept the consequenses...that would be really a heart broken moment in time...in life time! the last thing i wanted to do is breaking his heart out.
i love him for what he really is. he wakes up early every morning, never been missed his solat...and upon many things i consider is, he is just intelligent, smart, wit, athletics...
i gave him so many photos...and since he is now with mom and dad, with his family...dang! what a...don't know what would the best word describe, humiliated? embarrassed? i don't which is better explain. but yeah, it's the kind of feeling i then had when he showed her mom, my photos!!!
like great! the comment? 'she has nice bod'. can? like ha-ha. and came with tag line, 'if she wanted to keep that nice bod, will have to undergo stringent confinement after giving birth'. like...what? again? giving birth? aduyaiiiiiii...i haven't had persuaded myself commit to get married let alone to have offspring. out of question!
firdaus, firdaus...i just don't know...seriously no idea...where is this heading to. heart break so soon or, happiness continue...till further notice.
all in all...i love him so much...and very happy!
